For my 40th birthday, my sons presented me with a list, written in teenage boy handwriting on plain old printer paper, it was titled, “40 Things We Love About Mom.”

What does your heart need this Advent season?

You don’t know what you don’t know. Take the toddler, who is learning to walk on their own and stubbornly insists they can walk without your hand in the parking lot or down the stairs. Or the new teenage driver who can’t understand why a car full of friends

Somedays, I’m cruising along in good spirits, doing my best to live my life well and walk with the Lord.

Until something comes along and unexpectedly changes my situation in ways I don’t appreciate. Suddenly, my bright outlook turns towards discouragement as I decide how to move forward.

As a young mom, naptime was precious. Between 1 and 3 in the afternoon, I had a block of quiet time that didn’t occur again until bedtime. With so many things to accomplish and so few hours, I would run myself dry while my sons napped.

It was my 16th birthday, and although turning 16 was exciting, it didn’t look anything like I thought it would. Instead of celebrating my milestone birthday with my closest friends and family, I was 756 miles away, an exile in a foreign land called Kentucky.

Jerusalem was under attack. The Babylonians spared few - men and women of all ages, children, and the elderly lost their lives. They plundered all the sacred, valuable articles from the Temple and every treasure from the land.

Hope is a word that gets tossed around casually.

My surgeon sat next to me in the room where I was prepped for surgery; she looked at me with a kind smile and asked how I was feeling.

I placed a brown wicker chair in my yard, digging my toes into the soft, green grass. In front of me, I marveled at my patch of brightly colored zinnias and how the butterflies danced among them, delicately sipping their nectar. Birds flitted between the cherry tree branches beside me as I breathed the summer air deeply, finding my calm and listening for God’s voice. Nature is an anchor, always ready to steady my unsettled heart.

I’ve spent the past month thinking about a way to share my news eloquently, but try as I have, I cannot find a way other than to just say it.

I have breast cancer.

It was there when I decided to stop working full time and stay home with my son. I felt it when I knew I should join Compel and start writing. It consistently nudged me to start my blog.

I wrote this Romans teaching many months ago and as it was published last week the introduction about my Nana’s candy dish took on even more meaning.

I realize you can’t see me jumping up and down through your computer screen, so you will just have to take my word for it.

I connected with Dawn from Make Me Available on Instagram

What if the Lord had not been on our side? Psalm 124:1 Just outside the hospital room window, the city of Philadelphia teemed with life. Skyscrapers jutted up along the skyline as far as my eye could see, vehicles streamed along streets and bridges, and pedestrians buzzed along sidewalks to their next destination. Inside the hospital room, I watched as my mother-in-law’s life dwindled.

Do you know what I’ve noticed?

This week we meet a new author of Psalms, Asaph.

The most beautiful description of heaven is found in Revelation 21, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

I don’t know what your walk with the Lord looks like, but I’ve noticed mine follows a pattern.