Ok God, I’m Ready

I couldn’t stop reading the words on my screen. They flowed into my heart and mind, bringing peace and hope into my current circumstances. It was as if the writer was living my life, knew my situation, and understood my feelings. As I read the final sentence, I took a moment to consider her words and what they might mean for my circumstances. Those words rearranged my perspective, encouraged my heart, and pushed my mindset forward into a new, healthier place.  

The power of her words on the screen was immeasurable.  

I was awestruck by the incredible gift God had given the writer behind my screen. A gift to bring hope and encouragement through her words to a girl like me.  

A girl, somewhere close to 30, staying at home with two small boys. A girl who kissed her husband goodbye every Monday morning as he left to fly across the country, not to return until Friday evening. A girl who woke up every day doing her best to keep a long-distance marriage, two small children, and a chocolate labrador afloat on her own.  

I was an ordinary girl living in challenging circumstances; I know someone can relate to that. 

As the words from the screen infiltrated my heart, feelings of discontent swelled, and my mind filled with unmet desires. I wanted to be the girl writing words that rearranged perspectives and pushed mindsets forward. I wanted to be the writer who encouraged others with her words. The moment those dreams entered my mind, they met opposition. A voice in my head insisted, “you could never do that. You aren’t even a writer.” Another voice asked, “who would want to read your words? What do you possibly have to offer?” 

So I pushed the dream down and tucked it back inside my heart, feeling embarrassed that I would even have thought it and disappointed that it couldn’t be me all at the same time.  As life kept plowing forward, I kept doing the things I knew I could. The comfortable things I was confident in — raising children, substitute teaching, helping others, serving at church, working at my marriage, volunteering at school, reading my bible, and attending bible study filled my life with purpose. 

Yet, as hard as I tried, that dream in my heart just wouldn’t go away.  It kept welling up when I’d least expect it, and I’d keep dismissing it, listening to the voice that told me I was not enough.  

I am sure you’ve had those not-enough thoughts too. I’ve yet to meet an honest human who says they haven’t. The thing is — those voices are right — I am not enough on my own. My humanness has shortcomings and limitations. But God is limitless — it is only when we choose to partner with God, the one who can fill in all our gaps, that we are whole.  

Through all the years of keeping my writing dream tucked in tight, God kept whispering — I can use you, I will show you, stick with me, and we will do this together. I’ve got this figured out; I just need you to trust me.  

Invite God into your dream and watch it unfold.  

After all, He already knows your dream. He is the dream’s originator.  He desires for you to ask Him to be the orchestrator. If you have tethered yourself to God, He promises to give you more than you asked for, more than you could imagine as you choose to walk forward with Him. 

Many years after reading the blog post that sparked my dream, I took the first step. Then the next. Then another and another, until all my steps brought me to here — to the beginning of the dream realized. To write words on pages that hopefully will encourage others, rearrange mindsets, and change perspectives. 

To the girl out there with a dream tucked away inside her heart — I have walked there too. I have carried around a dream, trying to push it down and persuade it to go away. I ignored it and delayed it because I thought it was just a crazy idea. It could never happen. Until one day, I decided to invite God into the dream and see where He would take me.  

As always, I found His promise holds true: 

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3: 20-21 

He’s ready to do more than you ask or imagine for you, too. Invite Him into your dream and hold on tight!