Fresh Eyes
Like a car, puttering to the gas station on the last drop of gas, I was on empty. Every day felt like I was dragging myself through the hours. Mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted — my focus was keenly set on the date when I could finally take a deep breath and pause. I knew how I got into this predicament. Even though I felt the nudge to walk away from specific responsibilities months before, I chose to continue.
On top of that, I took on new responsibilities I promised myself I wouldn’t. They seemed like reasonable, manageable ideas when I agreed. Boy, was I wrong? I underestimated the amount of time and energy they would require. Now I was stuck pushing through until I completed them all. An unfortunate result of my overcommitment was the toll it took on the people who mean the most to me. My husband and children got the short end of the stick — a tired, grumpy, short-tempered mother and wife.
Everyday conversations with people in my life tell me I’m not alone. If your standard answer to “How are you?” is “busy,” then you can relate. Do you feel like you can only take shallow breaths? Have you spent your days feeling like a shell of a human, doing what needs to get done but not engaging with the world around you? Do you ever get the urge to curl up under a blanket and not come out for a while? Then you and I have something in common. Weary and on the verge of an emotional breakdown, God whispered to my heart — it’s time to take a pause.
A pause is a choice to create space to evaluate priorities and rearrange life accordingly. Practicing pause opens opportunities to move forward intentionally.
My situation reminded me of the show Clean Sweep. It was a favorite of mine. I've always been a sucker for a good transformation story. In case you missed it, Clean Sweep was a show where two professionals, a designer and an organizer, came into a home that was a mess. Picture hoarder status: piles of random stuff in every possible location with barely enough space to walk through. The families living in the homes were tired of living in a mess yet, felt overwhelmed by the process of cleaning it up. Cue the professionals and their crew. In two days, they cleaned out clutter, organized and redesigned rooms. Amazing!
The secret to their success was eliminating unnecessary stuff. Everything was pulled out of the rooms and placed in the yard. Then, the homeowners separated the items into three piles: keep, sell & toss. One item at a time, they widdled down the pile until only the important, necessary items remained.
The families didn’t do it alone. Their success stemmed from humility: realizing they needed a new perspective and some fresh eyes on the situation. They called in the professionals, someone who knew how to move forward and accomplish the task. In the end, their hard work and perseverance were rewarded with beautiful, functional new spaces to enjoy.
Tangled messes transformed into beautiful spaces to live life well. This is the desire of my heart, too — that God would take my tangled messes and bring forth beauty.
Friends, the beginning of this new year is the perfect time to orchestrate a “keep, consider, let go” in your life.’m not talking about your physical stuff, although maybe you need that, too. I’m talking about the other stuff: relationships, emotions, expectations, disappointments, doubts, uncertainties, hurt, responsibilities. A new year is an opportunity to pause and evaluate what you have occupying your heart and mind. Then, clean things out of your space.
Instead of setting goals and resolutions that we struggle to keep, let’s start with pausing to evaluate all the things that require something of us. Keep the necessary and joyful, let go of the unnecessary, and take the time to prayerfully consider if the rest belongs. Life is too short and precious to waste on things that are not ours to hold.
You don’t have to be at the end of your rope to pause and assess the things you need to let go.
If you desire to grow emotionally and spiritually.
If you wish to live the life you were created to live.
If you want to find your purpose.
If you want to have the emotional and physical time and energy to pour into the people and assignments that matter to you most.
If you don’t want to get caught up living life and one day look back and wonder if you should have done something differently.
Then a pause is for you.
We cannot orchestrate a meaningful pause alone. Just like the design professional in Clean Sweep helped homeowners see things they couldn’t see on their own, God steps in and gives us a new perspective.
Upon turning 40, the things my friends warned me about began to happen. One of those was that my eyes, which had always done their job of seeing clearly, stopped working well. Daily headaches and blurry vision sent me to the eye doctor for the news I already knew — I needed glasses. Without them, I strain and struggle to see things clearly, but the world looks crisp and clear with them.
We can suffer from emotional and mental blurry vision too. If we want our pause to move us forward in healthy ways and grow us spiritually and emotionally, we will need the courage to look at parts of our lives with fresh eyes.
God gives us fresh eyes through His word. It takes cooperation on our part — discipline, seeking, and a surrendered heart. It can be more appealing to sit and watch another episode of our favorite show, read another chapter of that novel or grab breakfast with a friend. Spiritual discipline — prayer, bible study, and worship take effort, but the rewards outweigh the cost.
Imagine the possibilities waiting on the other side of a fresh perspective. Imagine the freedom in knowing that you are living the life meant for you. The joy in spending your time and energy on the people and things intended for you. The peace found in letting go of relationships, responsibilities, and expectations that were weighing you down unnecessarily.
Fresh eyes are exactly what I needed when I found myself drowning in commitments I did not have the emotional and mental energy to maintain. I’m willing to admit my responsibility in the situation; God had been telling me to let go of a few things for months. The trouble was, I looked at those things He wanted me to give up and came up with a list of reasons why I shouldn’t walk away from them. These are things I am good at, I reasoned (pride). If I don’t do them, who will (self-righteousness)? I don’t want to let ____________ down (people-pleasing). Instead of taking the time to pray about these responsibilities and attempt to see God’s perspective on them, I plowed ahead with my ideas. Instead of being obedient to the Holy Spirit’s nudging, I struggled forward. I let life get busy, and my relationship with God and others suffered. I found myself needing restoration only God can provide.
God, in His faithfulness, kept stirring my spirit back to Him. He longs to bring a fresh perspective to our tired, overwhelmed spaces.
I know that “keep, consider, let go” can feel hasty. Are we really supposed to walk away from commitments and people? Sometimes the answer is yes. God designed you and me with a capacity. A set amount of time and energy. Just like your bank account only has so many dollars, and it would be foolish for you to spend more than that, our capacity is limited.
We cannot do everything well. This is a truth I’m still learning. Understanding our strengths and weaknesses and living from our strengths is God’s design for us.
I don’t want to miss the important assignments God has for me because I’m doing something else. I want to give my best time and energy to the important people in my life — my husband, children, close friends & family. I want to honor God by using the gifts He has given me for the purpose He desires. Often, that means letting go of things that don’t fit into God’s plan.
How am I confident of God’s plan for my life? Often, I need to pause. To lift my eyes and ears to God and ask Him to guide me. When I do, He gently whispers — not this, yes that — to my surrendered heart. I can only hear Him clearly when my life isn’t overcommitted and overwhelmed by responsibilities and busyness that aren’t mine. He speaks in quiet moments when I’ve chosen to pause long enough to listen.