What if Suffering is God’s Best For Us?
Do I believe God knows best? I scribbled this question at the top of my journal page one morning last week. My green pen stood against the bright white paper as I sat and collected my thoughts.
Over the past weeks, I ran my mind ragged considering choices concerning my health. When breast cancer came last year, I was plunged into a season of decisions regarding surgeries and treatments. Two surgeries and a recurrence medication later, I thought I had finally come to the end of all the decisions. Life was feeling normal again. My energy returned, and I started exercising with my neighbor several days a week. The dog and I are taking a daily walk. With cancer slowly fading into the rearview mirror, I was beginning to breathe again.
Imagine my surprise when my plastic surgeon appointment revealed a possible complication and surgery. A week later, routine bloodwork showed my medication was causing frightening side effects, prompting my oncologist to suggest a surgical option and medication switch.
All these seemingly impossible decisions left me feeling stuck, frustrated, and sad. How does one choose between possible cancer recurrence and medications with terrible, life-changing side effects? In my desire to make the best choice, I researched and read everything I could to help me find an answer. I filled multiple notebook pages with statistics and information. As I did, I prayed - Lord, give me peace and clarity about my path.
My husband and I arrived at the surgeon’s office armed with statistics and information, feeling confident about my decision. However, walking out of the appointment, my perspective shifted. What seemed like an undesirable path when I entered the surgeon’s office felt like a reasonable choice as I walked away. I was more confused than ever.
Do I believe God knows best? The Holy Spirit placed this question in my heart the following morning. I scribbled it at the top of my journal page; my green pen stood against the bright white paper as I sat and collected my thoughts.
Yes, I absolutely believe God knows best.
However, my brain gets stuck at the intersection of knowing God’s promises, that He will work things for my good, protect, provide, and care for me, and the reality that people suffer greatly.
I know I’m not alone in this struggle. I think of my Aunt Carol, who died young after a long battle with cancer. My sister’s best friend from high school was diagnosed with terminal cancer at 41. You don’t have to spend many days on earth or go very far to experience the heartwrenching effects of suffering.
These two truths, God’s promises and the reality of suffering, appear to contradict each other. My brain is left wondering and questioning: what if suffering is the story God has for me? Do I believe God knows best? Can I redefine my expectation of best to include suffering? In some way, can suffering be God’s best for us?
I don’t claim to have all the answers. However, from my own experience and the experience of others around me, I know this is true — those who have suffered profoundly and remained closely tethered to our Heavenly Father have found beauty in the most unlikely places. The suffering served a purpose. It revealed truth and depth not discovered through any other means.
Suffering softens the hard edges of our souls.
If I’m honest, God birthed some of my favorite parts of myself through suffering tethered to Him.
You see, it isn’t the suffering itself that refines us. It is a choice to stay connected to God and open to His leading through the suffering that changes us. God’s greatest desire is a deep relationship with each of us, one that molds and shapes us to reflect Him. Moving through suffering with God is a means to building our faith, trust, and understanding of God’s character. It cultivates the best version of ourselves.
Moving through suffering disconnected from God brings despair and bitterness.
Moving through suffering connected to God brings hope, peace, and purpose.
When everything around you looks like the worst, and you choose to believe God still knows best, you are suffering well. Your surrender to God’s plan will lead you to goodness.
This kind of suffering brings truth and light to a dark world and points others to the power and purpose of a life connected to God.
Verses describing God as my shepherd come to mind as I mull over my deep questions. Particularly these verses from Ezekiel, “ I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I myself will make them lie down, declares the Lord God. I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will destroy. I will feed them in justice.”
Only when sheep feel safe, full, and satisfied will they lie down and relax. God promises to be this kind of shepherd to us, providing everything we need so that we can lie down and relax.
Wolves are still prowling in the distance, but the sheep lie down. They must find food again tomorrow, but the sheep lie down. They relax because they trust their shepherd will protect and care for them again tomorrow. The sheep believe their shepherd knows best.
I don’t know what trouble surrounds you, dear one. I know it’s hard, and there is grief and pain that makes no sense.
The only way forward is through the trouble. Will you stay close to God as you travel through?
I’m not suggesting it’s easy; I know there will be questions along the way. But be confident the God who goes with you knows what is best for you. You can relax. He will lead you again tomorrow and every day after that.