Unearthing Treasure
Have you ever watched a show about treasure hunters? People looking for rare and valuable gemstones travel across the globe to remote and dangerous locations in the hope of finding a treasure. The journey begins with several plane flights to a distant place. Then there is a precarious ride on unpaved roadways to an unknown informant. After a stressful conversation with the informant, they are transported to a remote cave — hardly touched by humans. Repelling and hiking through cracks and crevices, they mine layers of rock and unearth a precious stone. This tiny bit of stone is often worth gigantic amounts of money. It takes time, sacrifice, risk, and effort to unearth the treasure.
Knowing the value of the treasure they seek inspires them to persistently pursue it anyway.
As I think about those treasure hunters and the time, sacrifice, risk, and effort they put into finding earthly treasure it challenges me to consider God’s words in Matthew 6:21, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (NIV) I’m prompted to ask myself some questions: What do I see as treasure? How persistently am I willing to pursue it?
It seems like the perfect question as November is upon us, the month in which we cannot seem to escape gratitude. At the tippy-top of every list of things I’m thankful for are names.
My husband
My children
My family
My friends
My neighbors
My church family
These names represent people that make my life rich and full. Cliché as it may sound, these names represent my heart’s most significant treasure. I bet this is the same for most of us. Relationships create a depth and warmth in our lives that earthly treasure cannot.
Except when they don’t. Perhaps you find yourself in a season of life where relationships feel more draining than life-giving. Maybe you find yourself feeling like you’d rather be alone than manage relationships with others. Are you hurt, discouraged, lonely, frustrated, tired, and just plain done with what feels like a constant cycle of relationship disappointment?
Do you feel content in some of your relationships and not others? Have you let some relationships slip away? Perhaps, you feel like somehow your relationships could be even better than they are.
I understand; I have been there too. My relationships haven’t always felt like treasures. There was a time when relationships were a source of frustration and a constant reminder that I couldn’t seem to get things right. I spent years of my life constantly surrounded by people, yet lonely. Years, trying to figure out what I was missing and what I needed to do differently. I tried reading books, I tried changing myself to fit a mold, I tried pressing down my feelings and pretending I was fine.
I tried, and tried, and tried until I had nothing left to try. I felt stuck and terribly alone.
Yes, I had relationships I enjoyed, but I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling deep inside that even my best relationships could be better.
God and I began to have conversations about my frustration, hurt, and loneliness. He tenderly started the process of helping me see my misplaced expectations. It turns out I was looking to my relationships with people to fill me up, define my worth and affirm me. My identity was wrapped up in friendship, marriage, and motherhood. God began to reveal to me all the ways I was looking to others instead of Him.
I had a decision to make: I could continue the cycle of disappointing relationships or choose to take a new approach.
So often I need God to show me a better way. Anchoring my value to God steadied my confidence. Once I set people free of the expectations I had unknowingly tied to them, my relationships began to transform. I found myself released from a cycle of disappointment, letdown, and uncertainty about my position with others. Everything I needed to feel loved and content I could find in my relationship with God.
Over and over again scripture guarantees my value; it was time to start living as if I believe it.
As soon as I began to look at relationships as an opportunity to seek, pursue and discover the God-given value of others — instead of affirm mine —I found abundant treasure.
A deeper understanding of myself and others
Appreciation for varying perspectives
Closeness
Feeling known and emotionally safe
Comfort and ease of relationship
Deep, healthy, life-giving relationships — the kind that brings us treasure — start with anchoring ourselves in who God says we are. He designed us to be in relationships — first with Him and then with others. His word gives us a picture of how healthy relationships look.
Jesus tells us in John 15:5, “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” Abiding in God looks like starting with Him, prioritizing my relationship with Him over all others, and focusing on His truth.
Pursuing a deep relationship with others begins with my pursuit of a relationship with God. When I abide in Him, He equips me with the attitudes and strength I need to successfully pour into others.
Everything I need can be found in God — God’s word gives me the antidote for any situation I face. Before I react, respond or choose to follow my feelings, I look to God’s word for direction. I pray that He will help me honor Him as I move forward.
When I do, He shows up. Instead of following my feelings, I rely on God’s truth to frame my thinking.
When I feel unloved, I remember God’s love for me (1 John 4:15-17)
When I feel left out, I remember God has chosen me to be his (John 15:16)
When I don’t feel heard, I remember God hears me (Psalm 17:6)
Even tethered to God, I’m still far from perfect. He is still teaching me to love others well. There are moments when my selfishness, pride, hurt, and frustration causes me to act in ways I wish I didn’t. But God in His goodness continues to show me the treasure of moving forward with Him.